More BBC Threesome

Some more details on the BBC3 Revamp we mentioned earlier. Chortle have done some more digging on the Comedy content.


Other comedy tidbits to look out for include Trexx and Flipside, a "multi-channel sitcom" about Hip Hop. Although what will be "Multi Channel" has not been revealed. Another, Coming Of Age, has been written by 19 year old First Year student Tim Dawson, although early reports have cast it as a proto-Two Pints, which frankly we probably don't need. There's also another sketchshow called Scallywagga.

Feel it closing in, feeling it closing in

The unrelenting and unavoidable move to crush analogue in all its forms (It's called the 'Digital Switchover') continues apace, with leading high street electronics now only stocking televisions with built in Digital TV. It's apparently called future proofing, and combined with the death of the video recorder and the cassette tape, is just another line drawn under the appealing hiss of the analogue age.

There are those still keeping the home fires burning bright and resisting the digital revolution though: Some people still need a Black and White TV Licence.

Unfortunately once Analogue telly is switched off their bill goes up over 300% as a set-top box will automatically count as colour TV. Which seems a bit hard, as people who only have a black and white telly are probably the ones who can least afford their bills to triple.

BBC Threesome

BBC 3, the channel that bought you Can Fat Teens Hunt, are aiming to revolutionise the concept of Television as we know it, or at least that’s what they’d have us believe by the tone of controller Danny Cohen over at Media Guardian.

Apparently the channel will ‘Simulcast’ (a point right there for anyone playing Bullshit Bingo: The Media Edition) all of its programming on ‘Multiple Platforms’. Which actually means “it’ll be on the internet at the same time it’s on the telly”.

Give them their dues, this genuinely is an innovation in British TV. No Channel outside of rolling news has dared to broadcast directly on the web, although it does feel a little like the Beeb are Guinea-pigging the concept with the channel they risk least with.

Cohen’s breathless excitement is evident:

"At BBC3 we should be known for pioneering risk, and be obsessed with all things new - new talent, new programmes, and a new relationship between television and the internet.

The thinking behind this rebrand of the channel is that we have, in effect, created a BBC3 world in which our content can move seamlessly between TV, online and mobile.

We have a fantastic lineup of programmes and we are going to make them available wherever young people want them."

Which is all well and good until you look at the new schedule, which despite a fancy new logo (we’ll miss those little blob things) doesn’t feel all that new and risky to us: docu-soaps on single Mums, teen pregnancy and modelling, make over shows “with a twist”, returning American imports like Heroes, a refresh of the old-as-the-hills comedy variety show with The Wall, and a new series of Gavin and Stacey, which admittedly did deserve a second go as it’s quite fine. All of which could probably be pretty decent in their own place, but are hardly unfamiliar BBC3 ground.

There a few genuine innovations. Lily Allen And Friends could actually be quite good…Lily herself is an engaging enough personality, although they’ve been cagey about the format so we’ll hold off until we’ve seen it. The Wrong Door is being described as a “sketch show with CGI”, but quite what that means is anyone’s guess. It won’t be as good as Modern Toss, that’s for sure. Then there’s this

“New entertainment format Upstaged will be a mixture of talent show, stamina and social networking, which Cohen has described as "risky".”

Which sounds horrible.

Best of all is the drama:

Six drama pilots will include Phoo Action, written by Tank Girl creator Jamie Hewlett; thriller The Things I Haven't Told You; Being Human, a tale of a vampire, ghost and werewolf who share a house; and Mrs In-Betweeny, created by Shameless writer Paul Abbott and Caleb Ranson.

The proposition of a drama by the man that draws Gorillaz definitely spikes our interest and the Vampire thing could well be good.

BBC3 then. There’s more to it than crap docusoaps, Two Pints... and Doctor Who Confidential, and if you’re too lazy to leave the computer and go to the Telly you don’t have to. It’s the future.

Falling in love with Falling Off The Lavender Bridge

All hail the first great album of 2008: Lightspeed Champion’s Falling Off The Lavender Bridge. It’s out today, it’s far better than it has any right to be. Buy it, enjoy it, and then go and buy anything you can find by Emmy the Great, as her backing vocals here are half the charm.

This time next week Rodders, we may not be millionaires but we will own series One & Two of Only Fools... providing we buy the Sun

The Sun starts giving away the first two series of Only Fools And Horses today (Monday 21^st

January). They’re free, but there is a moral cost: buying the Sun.

It does give John Sullivan the chance to explain the post millennial Christmas specials:

“A lot of people ripped into them. But what they didn’t understand was that it wasn’t meant to be the actual show. We weren’t being very serious.”

Are we really supposed to believe that Sullivan wrote those shows meaning them to sub-standard? Or do you think he might, just might, be trying to cover the fact that despite the efforts of those involved they simply weren’t as good.

Still, as has we have pointed out before, Del Boy falling through the bar is the ultimate pinnacle of comedic achievement according to most of the British public, and who are we to argue with them?

Lies, lies, Damned Lies

More lies and moral filth coming out of the BBC as television continues to be to modern media what the Ottoman Empire was to 19^th Century Europe. But this time, we don’t know who is to blame.

Following Blue Petergate, Blue Petergate II, Comic Reliefgate, 6Musicgate and more, it turns out there is still deception bubbling under over at Broadcasting house. Of course the BBC are trying their best to stamp it all out and make sure we find out from them, rather than from some irritating Tab. Next week we’ll find out where the blame lies. What could it be? Was the recent Two Pints live episode really entirely CGI? Is Radio 5 Live actually being broadcast out of Bombay using talented and under paid Indian impressionists? Did John Simm not get transported back to the 70’s to fight crime after all? Is it true that Dot Cotton is really a do-gooding Babyshambles Fan called June? Where will it all end?

Secretly most people will probably agree with Russell T Davies in discussion with Mark Lawson earlier this week (available on the iPlayer until Wednesday, heartily recomended) when he described himself as being actually quite impressed with the resourcefulness of overworked studio telly-peeps making snap decisions on live TV. And if Russell says so, it must be true. He is the last honest man in showbiz.

Let’s face it, the BBC’s earnest attempts to cut out the noddys, apologise to the Queen and restore some of that seeped faith are all very arguable, but most reasonable people were probably happier when the wool was pulled over their eyes. And besides, the problems over at ITV (X-Factor Gate, GMTVgate, late night phone in Quiz-O-Gate, Ant and Dec o’gate) are far far worse.

The end is nigh, we’re all doomed.

Newton Fuckerner

In a year that was characterised by missing blonde children, the unavoidable slide towards world religous war and general unpleasantness Newton Faulkner is still the worst thing about 2007.